When your co-parent repeatedly ignores your custody arrangement, you may feel frustrated or unsure how to address the problem. These disruptions can affect your time with your child and make it difficult to maintain a stable routine. Keeping accurate records can help you explain what happened if you need to ask the court to enforce your custody order.
Here are the details worth keeping track of and how to organize them.
Missed exchanges and schedule changes
Record each missed pickup, late arrival, early drop-off or refused exchange, including the scheduled time and what actually happened. If your co-parent changes the schedule without your agreement, note when they notified you and how the change affected your parenting time.
Also record related disruptions, such as missed school activities, canceled or postponed appointments and changes to your child’s established routine.
Messages and communication records
Save relevant text messages, emails and other written exchanges about custody arrangements. Keep the original messages with their dates and timestamps rather than relying only on selected screenshots. These records can help show whether you tried to resolve the problem and how your co-parent responded.
Details of specific violations
Write down what happened as soon as possible while the details remain fresh. Include the date, location, people present and the part of your custody order that the incident may have violated. Under Pennsylvania law, a parent who willfully disobeys a custody order may face contempt proceedings under 23 Pa.C.S. § 5323(g). Your records can help an attorney assess whether the incidents support an enforcement request.
Records of the impact on your child
Keep track of noticeable changes in your child’s emotional state or behavior following repeated disruptions. For example, your child might express resentment after another missed visit or become argumentative when returning to your care. Note what your child says or does and when these changes occur.
Pennsylvania courts consider a child’s emotional needs and well-being when making custody decisions, so these observations may help explain how ongoing conflicts affect your child.
Protect your child’s best interests from a difficult custody situation
Records of missed exchanges, written communications, specific violations and changes in your child’s well-being can help you explain a pattern of noncompliance with a custody order. If the problem continues, an attorney can review your order and supporting records, explain your enforcement options and help you decide how to address the violations. Taking appropriate legal steps can help protect your parenting time and support a more stable routine for your child.